How to irritate your teachers


Lexi Greenberg

Homework Utensils: Teacher vision sometimes isn’t the best. But no matter what prescription glasses your teacher uses, they hate it when you write in anything other than “just blue or black ink” to do your homework in. To really bug em, try doing your homework in glittery pink gel pen (not purple, that’s too easy to read) white colored pencil, or that brown nub crayon you found under your dresser.

Bathroom Breaks: The most annoying thing you can do is interrupt the middle of a heated discussion about civil rights with, “Ms. Hellman, can I go pee really quick?” She’ll be fiiine with it for sure. Also, during lectures make sure to get up and make the most noise possible on your way out the door.

Getting a Teachers’ Attention: Keep your hand raised as high as you can for as long as you can, even after they’ve called on you. Adding your own sound effects too is a plus: “Ooooh ooh, pick meee!” And when they call on you, say you were just stretching.

Scantrons: When you don’t know any of the answers (way to study) mark straight C’s instead of guessing. 25% chance of a right answer that way! Also, fill out your scantron in pen and write the wrong version number at the top of your test.

Food in Class: Bring in really loud food to every period, especially if the teacher’s banned food in class. She probably doesn’t really mean it. So nachos, Ruffles sandwiches, maybe even tomato soup for slurping! When you bring in Starbucks, if you spill it across your desk, she’ll be super nice about it and probably even offer to clean it up for you.

Handwriting: When teachers are grading your essays, they like a good illegible one to spice things up. If your handwritings’ really bad, you’re off to a good start. But if you want to make real extra work for them, write your essay in Latin or French, or change the font to Wingdings webdingsis!

Texting: Text in class as much as possible, and don’t bother keeping your phone under your desk. Teachers want to see your conversation over your shoulder, it’s interesting to them! Turn the notification beeps on too, so
whenever you get one, everyone should know.