21st Century: Is it time for women to make the first move?

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Titanic. Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Bukater jump into the sea to escape the sinking ship they boarded. With only one piece of driftwood large enough to hold one person, Jack freezes to death by sacrificing the precious space for Rose.

A Walk to Remember. High school students Landon Carter and Jamie Sullivan fall in love. She isn’t allowed to date, so Landon personally visits her father, a reverend, to ask for permission to date his daughter. When Landon discovers that she has leukemia, he fulfills her list of wishes and asks for her hand in marriage.

27 Dresses. Kevin Doyle, a newspaper wedding columnist, chases after a wedding planner, Jane Nichols, who finds him infuriating as he scheduled himself into her personal organizer book every Friday for the rest of the year.

Classic romance movies like these have perpetrated the traditional (yet no longer relevant) idea that men must always make the first move. The opposite, where a woman chases after a man, is not as common, and therefore may be looked upon as peculiar, desperate, or untraditional. I realized something important about this issue after taking a relationship quiz in Seventeen which had surprising results: Seventeen concluded that I am very “old fashioned,” and stated that I need take the initiative since it’s the 21st century and there is no time to wait around for men to make the first move.

According to Seventeen, females should not wait for men to make the first move, and instead should take the situation into their own hands, and I agree. Society is working its way towards equality between men and women: in status, in the workforce, and in relationships. Already, more women are encouraged to enter into the dominantly-male engineering and technological fields. If this encouragement demonstrates that women are becoming equals with men in the workforce, why would it be any different in relationships?

MVHS Senior Lauren Gong agrees:

“I think that if girls want to make the first move, they should go for it. But I guess there’s an individual aspect to it where each girl and her relationship is different.” Gong reasons that there should not be expectations nor limitations for girls to make the first move.

“Girls must realize that it’s okay to make the first move if they feel inclined to do so,” said Gong.

MVHS Sophomore Eric Dyer contributes a different perspective.

“I’m traditional. I think its more polite if a guy does it, rather than making the girl wait to the point where she feels she has to ask him,” said Dyer. Dyer thinks that men should not let the fear of rejection, judgement, and humiliation be an obstacle to asking a woman out. Therefore, Dyer argues, men should not put women through those same fears they could not overcome.

“I think that if a guy wants to ask a girl out, he should man up and do it. Don’t make her wait,” said Dyer.

MVHS Sophomore William Murray holds a different opinion that is simple, yet realistic.

“I think whoever is more confident in the relationship should be the one to take initiative, where it be the man or the woman,” said Murray.

Murray’s promotion for confidence replaces the issue of equality with simple reasoning.

As we evolve, our relationships evolve. Some support this break from gender roles, while other prefer to remain traditional. What do you think? Comment your opinion below.

Dominique Lau
Sophomore Dominique Lau cherishes freedom of expression through writing. Her interests include cross country, soccer, track, baking, and spending time with friends and family.
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